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Sandy Robertson and her daughter

By Sandy Robertson, founder of www.getpregnantover40.com

‘Tis the Season for having salt rubbed into your wounds. If you’re over age 40 and trying to conceive, all those happy families joyously pictured in the cute and clever Christmas/Holiday greeting cards is tough.

Then there’s the never ending dissertations about how everyone’s kids are the star player on their soccer team, the brightest kid in class, the most popular kid in school, etc. etc. etc. It’s enough to make you want to tell ’em all:

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR BIG HAPPY FAMILY, GOT IT???”

 

Encouragement For Women Yet To Conceive

I recall getting some of those two page “bragging” letters inside Christmas cards…there they sat, still folded and never read until it was time to put the holidays to rest.

Well…many fertility bloggers write about how to survive the holidays this time of year (myself included). But the whole Christmas card thing got me thinking about something that might be encouraging for those who are in the throes of infertility and feeling discouraged by being older.

I thought about some of the Christmas cards I got this year… not from people with big happy families but from people with small happy families. These are people who cried together, felt hopeless together, and thought becoming a parent would never happen.

I’m talking about some of the women who were in the infertility support group I ran before I conceived my daughter. Granted, all of their kids are still very young, but there’s none of those awful bragging letters. They usually just send a picture and you can sense the true appreciation they have for their child/children.

 

Why There’s Light At The End of the Tunnel

I’m not saying that other people don’t appreciate or love their kids, but you definitely see a difference between families where the kids were conceived easily or unexpectedly and the families where the couple’s had a harder time. If you’re over 40 and trying to conceive, then you are likely to be facing more challenges.

In some ways, I think these couples know that they’ve been given an incredibly special gift and bragging or taking it for granted will create some type of universal backlash. True appreciation is a rare thing, and one benefit, at least for me, of waiting six years for my daughter is that I truly have a profound appreciation of new life.

So the moral of the story is, even though it’s frustrating and heartbreaking to go through the agony of waiting to get pregnant…sometimes months…sometimes years as you watch your biological clock ticking away, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You come through it with more insight and knowledge than you can imagine.

Notes for this blog:

Sandy Robertson is the founder of http://www.getpregnantover40.com (http://www NULL.getpregnantover40 NULL.com).

For further support, join our online forum, A CHILD AFTER 40, for women who are over 40 and trying to conceive, and women who have given birth after 40 and are now parenting young children. To join: http://achildafter40.com/community/index.php?action=register.

One Response to Surviving The Holidays While Trying To Conceive

  1. LeslieC says:

    The end of the year also stinks for those waiting and waiting for an adoption match. Having already endured the torturous infertility years, I keep praying this will be the year I am matched with my baby – now 3 yrs 4 mos into the wait, the holidays with all the happy family pics make me so sad, discouraged and frustrated.

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