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Deborah McGinnis with her son

By Deborah McGinnis, AChildAfter40 Member and California Realtor.

I never planned to have my first child at age 41.

But it wasn’t until the fall of 2003, when I was 36, that I finally got married.  Just a few months later I missed my period, and—voilà! ! Two pink lines. I was pregnant!

We surprised my in-laws at dinner by pulling out cups that read “Grandma” and “Grandpa”.

It never dawned on me something could go wrong.

 

I’ll never forget my first miscarriage.

One morning I awoke to go to the bathroom and noticed quite a gel like substance tainted with blood.  It was Memorial Day weekend. I’ll never forget that day.

I had miscarried at 10 weeks. I remember walking back to the car with my husband, in tears.  We had to break the news to our families.

But our nightmare journey had only just begun.

 

Panicked, I began to eat and drink all the “right” things.

Our next pregnancy happened just a few months later.  Easy.  This time would be good.  Statistically, this pregnancy should go well.  But at our first doctor’s visit there was no heartbeat.

I had miscarried again.

Panicked, I started to read everything I could get my hands on and eating and drinking all the “right” things, so that it wouldn’t happen again.  But it did.

A third, a fourth and a fifth time.  In the end, I had 5 miscarriages in less than 4 years.

After the third loss we went through a battery of tests; genealogical, blood, you name it.  But nobody could explain it.

 

After surgery, I got pregnant the 5th time.

Eventually, we went to a reproductive endocrinologist who announced that a fibroid was protruding inside my uterus, and pulling down the uterine wall.

Soon after surgery, I was pregnant—for the fifth time—although I was fast approaching 40.

I miscarried again due to a chromosomally abnormal fetus.

With the clock ticking, and after five consecutive losses, we got on the road to IVF, so we could select “good” eggs to implant back into me.

Ultrasounds helped to determine the perfect time to procreate the “old fashioned way”, and we followed doctor’s orders.  It worked!  I was pregnant again with number 6, at the age of 40.

 

Don’t believe in statistics and never give up.

I continued throughout pregnancy, and was put on progesterone. I chose not to have early ultrasounds, put away all the books and stopped reading on-line articles.

To every single doctor’s appointment we went with trepidation. Not until after he was born full term and healthy could we (and our families!) truly celebrate.

Here I am at age 46 with a beautiful, just-turned-5 year old little boy.

So to all you women out there, in whatever process you are, never give up hope.

Don’t believe in statistics.  There are thousands of women defying them every day.  And most of all, relax.

Take deep breaths, don’t read stuff, and don’t try to figure it all out. Baby dust” to everyone.

 

Notes for this blog:

A member of AChildAfter40, Deborah McGinnis is a 46-year-old mommy and Realtor in California. She can be found at: www.hpremiere.com/deborah (http://www NULL.hpremiere NULL.com/deborah)

4 Responses to I Survived 5 Miscarriages To Be A Mom At 41

  1. Janet Palmer says:

    Aww my little sister… finally had her little child. I was so proud of you for not giving up and continuing to try… danny is a very big blessing and always will be a very special person in my life…. He was meant to be that’s fir sure….. love you sister and as we use to call him baby danny…♥

  2. Sonya says:

    I’m the same age as you and also had 5 miscarriages. I had three in a row (age 32-36) then a surviving pregnancy at 39, then two more miscarriages and a live birth at 41. I agree, never give up!

    Interestingly no sure cause for mine was found but I do have fibroids now.

  3. Sheila says:

    Hi. I am 46 and have a daughter who is 9 and a son who is 4. My son was my 10th pregnancy and I can relate to your losses. We did IVF seven times and only got pregnant once with twins and I miscarried. Then decided to step away for a bit and got pregnant naturally at 36 and had our daughter. Then got pregnant and miscarried 7 more times. Unexplained but after the last miscarriage my doctor put my husband and myself on a course of antibiotics. He said a simple infection that either one of us could have could cause a miscarriage. A month later I was pregnant with our son! Who knows if that was the problem but we are so fortunate to have our children.

    Deborah thanks for sharing your story of hope and inspiration!

  4. ann says:

    THIS GIVES HOPE HEARING THIS , MY DAUGHTER JUST HAD HER FIFTH MISCARRIAGE,AND WITH HER THE DOCTORS ALSO DONT KNOW WHY… THANK YOU FOR SPARING YOUR STORY.. GOD BLESS YOU…

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