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By Deborah McGinnis, AChildAfter40 Member and California Realtor.
I never planned to have my first child at age 41.
But it wasn’t until the fall of 2003, when I was 36, that I finally got married. Just a few months later I missed my period, and—voilà! ! Two pink lines. I was pregnant!
We surprised my in-laws at dinner by pulling out cups that read “Grandma” and “Grandpa”.
It never dawned on me something could go wrong.
I’ll never forget my first miscarriage.
One morning I awoke to go to the bathroom and noticed quite a gel like substance tainted with blood. It was Memorial Day weekend. I’ll never forget that day.
I had miscarried at 10 weeks. I remember walking back to the car with my husband, in tears. We had to break the news to our families.
But our nightmare journey had only just begun.
Panicked, I began to eat and drink all the “right” things.
Our next pregnancy happened just a few months later. Easy. This time would be good. Statistically, this pregnancy should go well. But at our first doctor’s visit there was no heartbeat.
I had miscarried again.
Panicked, I started to read everything I could get my hands on and eating and drinking all the “right” things, so that it wouldn’t happen again. But it did.
A third, a fourth and a fifth time. In the end, I had 5 miscarriages in less than 4 years.
After the third loss we went through a battery of tests; genealogical, blood, you name it. But nobody could explain it.
After surgery, I got pregnant the 5th time.
Eventually, we went to a reproductive endocrinologist who announced that a fibroid was protruding inside my uterus, and pulling down the uterine wall.
Soon after surgery, I was pregnant—for the fifth time—although I was fast approaching 40.
I miscarried again due to a chromosomally abnormal fetus.
With the clock ticking, and after five consecutive losses, we got on the road to IVF, so we could select “good” eggs to implant back into me.
Ultrasounds helped to determine the perfect time to procreate the “old fashioned way”, and we followed doctor’s orders. It worked! I was pregnant again with number 6, at the age of 40.
Don’t believe in statistics and never give up.
I continued throughout pregnancy, and was put on progesterone. I chose not to have early ultrasounds, put away all the books and stopped reading on-line articles.
To every single doctor’s appointment we went with trepidation. Not until after he was born full term and healthy could we (and our families!) truly celebrate.
Here I am at age 46 with a beautiful, just-turned-5 year old little boy.
So to all you women out there, in whatever process you are, never give up hope.
Don’t believe in statistics. There are thousands of women defying them every day. And most of all, relax.
Take deep breaths, don’t read stuff, and don’t try to figure it all out. Baby dust” to everyone.
Notes for this blog:
A member of AChildAfter40, Deborah McGinnis is a 46-year-old mommy and Realtor in California. She can be found at: www.hpremiere.com/deborah (http://www NULL.hpremiere NULL.com/deborah)
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