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Until recently, I thought Kevin Costner’s 1999 film, Message in A Bottle—about a newspaper researcher who finds a mysterious love letter in a bottle on the coast of Cape Cod—was a saccharine-pink dollop of emotional comfort-goo for 30+ aged gals home alone on a Saturday night.
Then, a few weeks ago, an anonymous American blogger—let’s call her “Misty”—reached out to me through the internet ether to share her seemingly impossible dream of love and motherhood after 40.
A relative newbie to the blogosphere, Misty’s first words to me were: “I want to congratulate you on the advocacy you are doing for women over 40 having babies.”
As I read her story, what immediately struck me as unique and salient was that her new blog, Dreaming Miracles (http://dreamingmiracles NULL.blogspot NULL.com/)—and the method she applies to succeed in her mission—is nothing short of a breakthrough.
Dreaming Miracles (http://dreamingmiracles NULL.blogspot NULL.com/) is a freshly birthed and sparkling sign of the times—a harbinger of midlife coupling, marriage and childbearing practices to come.
And, as natural pathfinder for her over-40 mommy wannabe kin, Misty is a gal who’s not afraid to ‘kick it up a notch’ and take matters into her own hands.
“I have recently begun writing a blog (anonymously because of the personal nature of a cherished dream) that I thought ‘someone out there’ might be interested in following” she explained.
“The blog is about my heart’s desire of wanting a baby (and marriage!) and being 46 years old and single.”
If Misty’s blog is a virtual prequel to the over-40 mother giving birth, then it must be the natural sequel to the woman who simply craves having children in her forties.
And why not? She grew up in the classic, text-book environment that would normally generate expectations of stable family life.
Born in the fall of 1963 into a Catholic family of seven children, “the product of two happily married, devoted parents”, Misty likens them to the Brady Bunch.
“We had three boys and three girls (little sister came later) and our family dealt with issues from a loving and nurturing perspective” she remembers.
“We worked hard at making it work and had fun along the way.”
As she grew up, Misty picked up a B.A. in Communications and Psychology and worked close to children as an au pair, in a Montessori preschool and as a school Teacher’s Aide.
In her early thirties, she thought she’d actually struck soul-gold with finding ‘Mr. Right’. But in the end, she learned he had too much emotional “baggage” to make a commitment.
Misty says, “I spent the first part of my thirties on an island” when she met and fell in love with this man. The second part was when she moved to a desert to leave him behind.
She also characterizes her 30s as a time of rebellion and searching for herself, “like most people’s teens and early twenties” and cites her father as a possible contributor to her single status—and there’s a suspicious waft of “aw shucks” between the lines when she writes:
“My father may be my biggest obstacle to being married because when you have an example of what an amazing man can be, it kinda makes you feel like he can’t be the only one.”
To make things worse, she describes entering her forties as a single woman like being in “no-man’s land”.
“As a pretty traditional Catholic, I wanted traditional: you find a guy, fall in love, get married and have children.
“But I wasn’t finding the guy and I just kept getting older and it kept feeling more hopeless, which led to a bad attitude and lack of self-confidence. It was a vicious cycle.”
In her forties, she felt isolated: “It certainly feels like everyone’s married with children.
“Maybe I just don’t know where to go to meet a single guy and then I tend not to go out. I don’t want to feel like I’m trying too hard, too
In 2007—just before Misty turned 44—she had an epiphany that would change her outlook on life, love and the getting of a husband and father.
She describes the “shift” in her thinking by referring to a quote from The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell (http://www NULL.amazon NULL.com/gp/product/0385418868?ie=UTF8&tag=flopowmom-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0385418868):
In order to found something new, one has to leave the old and go in quest of the seed idea, a germinal idea that will have the potentiality of bringing forth the new thing.
She realized “I was now ready to bring forth, from that germinal idea, the potentiality of the new thing—finding love and having a baby”.
When she launched her blog (http://dreamingmiracles NULL.blogspot NULL.com/), Misty decided to manifest her miracle.
Although uncertain of its outcome, she stands grounded in a place of knowing it’s the right path to take.
“Believing in miracles has got to be the better alternative to accepting that things will always be as they always were because you were too scared to believe in your ability to move a mountain.”
Recently, she posted a theme song for her blog: “Don’t Stop Believing,” by Journey. (http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=barLaHrtvoM&feature=related)
Notes for this blog:
You can reach “Misty” through her blog at: http://dreamingmiracles.blogspot.com/ (http://dreamingmiracles NULL.blogspot NULL.com/)
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