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“I mean, like when the kid is 25, the mother will be 65!” As I read her response to an article about first time moms over 40, I could almost picture the reader’s facial expression.
She would probably grasp that many of us older moms have the audacity to have not only one baby, but two after age 35 (http://vitals NULL.msnbc NULL.msn NULL.com/_news/2012/04/11/11147633-more-older-moms-dont-stop-with-one-baby-new-study-finds?lite).
Although women giving birth or adopting a baby in their late 30s and 40’s is becoming more common, the reader’s comment is just a reflection of the many people who exercise age bias against new older moms.
Like any other bias or prejudice, I believe her’s (assuming the reader is female) is based upon one of three possible causes: not knowing many new older moms, a personal negative experience with a new older mom or believing all the inaccurate data about older moms.
I would ask the reader to consider the following:
1) A 25-year-old is no longer a “kid.” A 25-year-old is a young adult and is often married and may have a kid of his or her own.
2) While I know that all moms play a vital role in their children’s lives (whether the children are adults or preschoolers), I assume that my child will be more independent at age 25 than she was at age 5.
3) Finally, and most importantly, I would encourage the reader to get to know a 65-year-old. Many lead active productive lives.
When my grand aunt was 65, she was getting married for the first time.
The real “Cha Ching” (urban slang) or money didn’t start coming in for Harland David “Colonel” Sanders until he was 65 when he founded Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Laura Ingalls Wilder, who wrote the Little House on the Prairie, didn’t publish her first novel until she was 65 years old.
Edith Wilma Connor entered—and won—her first bodybuilding competition at the age of 65.
My grandfather who has children over the age of 65, celebrated his 101st birthday in May. Last year, at his 100th birthday party (http://inseasonmomreflections NULL.blogspot NULL.com/2011/05/over-40-mom-myth-shattered-at-my NULL.html), he not only gave acceptance speeches for various awards, but he danced!
I encourage younger moms to keep an open mind. You never know what the future will bring. After all, if you are 20-something and have a child, one day you may have to assume custody of your grandchild. Then you will realize that being a good new mom is based on love and not age.
Notes for this blog:
Cynthia Wilson James, a former childbirth educator, conceived naturally and gave birth at age 42 and 44 to two healthy daughters, is founder of www.InSeasonMom.org, which provides support to first time moms over 35 and 40 through coaching, blogs and Mom of the Month articles.
- (http://www NULL.ctvnews NULL.ca/health/health-headlines/women-increasingly-going-online-to-seek-free-sperm-donors-1 NULL.1590245)
Angel on CNN(http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=WySnP2nnwXU)
CNN Mother's Day: "Mature Moms" (http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=WySnP2nnwXU)(http://youtu NULL.be/atScMih4_d0) (http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=sGRro4rHGeA)
AARP's "Inside E-Sreet" on PBS TV (http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=sGRro4rHGeA)
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