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If there’s one thing more striking than Kristen Marinovic’s silver hair, it’s her no-nonsense approach to being a mother to 20-month-old twins, Viggo and Niko.
Yet, the 48-year-old Registered Investment Advisor (R.I.A.), and former public school teacher, often feels the sting of being labeled as her children’s grandmother.
“Because of my silver hair color, I am often asked if the boys are mine,” she says.
“It’s an innocent mistake, but one that never really ceases to hurt.”
Marinovic admits to “seriously” thinking about the issue of her hair color after the boys were born.
“I love my hair color, but being considered my kids’ grandmother hurt enough that at one point it drove me to considering coloring my hair.”
After struggling with the decision because it would be in “direct opposition to my sense of self,” she—in the end—stayed true to her roots.
Later Marriage and Children Were A Personal Choice
According to Marinovic, marriage and children came late from personal choice.
“I waited to marry for the right man and the right time for me” she says.
Her confidence that her future involved having a family never waned over the years.
“I knew I would have children, biological or adopted, regardless of whether or not I was married or single” she affirms.
As Time Crept On, An Increasing Sense of Urgency
But as time crept on, she says: “I had an increasing sense of urgency over my decisions regarding how I would have children in my life.”
Marinovic finally met her future husband through mutual friends and they were married in 2005, when they “decided to pursue starting a family through fertility treatments and/or adoption”.
She admits to being “overly confident” going in to her first round of IVF.
“When it was unsuccessful, it was very upsetting” she says.
After a second round which produced an ectopic pregnancy which had to be terminated, Kristen Marinovic found herself ‘third time lucky’.
She attests to having a pregnancy experience with “medical professionals who were very supportive,” followed by a scheduled C-section at full-term in 2008.
Fears and Concerns During Pregnancy After 40
“I had a lot of fears and concerns during the pregnancy for all the reasons an over-40 mother should,” admits Kristen.
With two healthy boys to her credit, Marinovic is very clear about her intentions regarding future career prospects.
“It is very important for me to work again, both personally and financially,” she says.
In order to effectively blend parenting with career goals, she became an Independent Investment Advisor (http://en NULL.wikipedia NULL.org/wiki/Financial_adviser) to better manage her work schedule and client base.
Marinovic feels that her age, work and family situation are all a good fit.
I Prioritize Better As A Mother
“I prioritize better as an over-40 mother—also my work fits into my childcare as opposed to my childcare fitting into my work.”
Moreover, she affirms that her age and experience make her better equipped as a mother:
“I believe I am more likely to accept my kids for who they are than who and how I would like them to be.”
For Kristen Marinovic, however—a mom who gets a natural high from watching her boys “make new discoveries and cross new milestones”—the world of childhood is not what it used to be.
It Doesn’t Feel Safe Today For Kids To Be Alone
“I grew up in the 60’s 70’s and 80’s. It doesn’t feel as safe for kids today to be alone or with friends without adult supervision. I feel sad about that.”
”My husband and I grew up in an environment where the only rule was to be home by dark,” she continues.
“I don’t ever see my kids living in a world that is that safe.”
More Mothers Over 40
Yet, she does see a future where there are also developments for the better:
“I think the world is changing—there are more and more over-40 mothers.”
And Kristen Marinovic’s pearl of wisdom for new later life moms?
“Age is irrelevant—it is all about Attitude! (And sleep!)”
Notes for this blog:
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Mother’s Day 2013 is on Sunday, May 12th. AChildAfter40.com has launched a FREE Mother’s Day Tribute Album in an E-Card and social media friendly format. It features candid mother & child portraits and “pearls of wisdom” from real over-40 moms: the true faces and authentic voices of later motherhood.
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We are launching these elegant, handmade glass wine charms, made especially for AChildAfter40.com for this occasion. They come in an organza sachet as singles or “His & Hers”, and “Celebrate Motherhood Over 40” gift tag for Mother’s Day at only $3.95 each. Order now! They are ideal for accessorizing gift wrap, to adorn wine glass stems, or to wear as a personal charm. Proceeds will help to fund our online forums.
Photography donated by: Scott Lewis (http://www NULL.lewisimages NULL.com/)
Graphic designs for “Celebrating Motherhood After 40” Mom & Tot T-Shirts donated by graphic designer: Joan Lintz-Thompson (joanlintz_thompson null@null yahoo NULL.com).
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