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(http://www NULL.achildafter40 NULL.com/adoption-after-40/mom-at-last-2/)A newlywed at 40, Sharon Simons never imagined the thorny path to motherhood would lead her to the Arctic reaches of Dr. Zhivago’s Siberia.

Who would willingly go there, in any case? Like the Eagles’ Hotel California, it’s infamous for being a sinister place where few ever leave.

Ultimately, however, the journey would lead her to a life-changing decision to aid other women (http://www NULL.momatlast NULL.com/) who face fertility challenges on the road to parenthood.

But Simons—now 45, married to a doctor and living in Delaware, Maryland—started out with a completely different dream.

She had married in her 20’s and later divorced—an increasingly common conjugal phenomenon, known to wreak havoc with anxiety over women’s bio clocks.

It wasn’t until she was 39, and a successful Marketing Director in the insurance industry, that Simons met her “soul mate” in 2005.

The couple planned to get married and—despite Dr. Simons’ vasectomy—hoped for a family.

After a sperm extraction procedure, Sharon Simons had her first IVF treatment the week following her 40th birthday and became pregnant with twins.

In December 2006, the doctor and the expectant mother met at the proverbial altar to say their vows. They were jubilant.

“Everything was going great!” says Simons.

But 19 weeks into the pregnancy, she was rushed to the hospital emergency room. Physicians told her she had a “serious infection” and was “going to lose the babies” and they “needed to induce labor”.

“I woke up two days later with a breathing tube, a c-section scar, and no babies”, she recalls.

She describes it as “the most horrible day of my life” and says that her two lost boys then became her “angels.”

“I pushed through every day, even though the birth of Suri Cruise’s baby was making headlines,” she adds.

Unwilling to give up, the Simons went ahead with two more IVF treatments—which lead to a tubal pregnancy, followed by a failed cycle.

“We started thinking about adoption,” says Simons.

“I remember feeling at that moment, I was determined to become a mom!”

After researching the internet, Simons “went with her gut” and chose an adoption agency she felt was right for them.

“The next month, we were on a plane to Siberia, Russia,” she continues.

“Two months after that, I brought my sons home: Hunter Sergey, 16 months old and Dylan Dimitry, 23 months old.”

“It was a miracle how quickly it happened—I remember thinking my two angels sent me these two boys, and our family was born.”

Simons was so profoundly moved by her experience that she launched a new website, Mom At Last (http://www NULL.momatlast NULL.com/) to aid women suffering with infertility, going through IVF, or thinking about adoption.

“My vision is to create a perfect place where women can get information and share stories on the many journeys women take before, during and after motherhood.”

Moreover, now 45—and her sons aged 5 and 4—Simons has packed some over-40 mom parenting under her belt.

“I did all the fun stuff in my 20’s and 30’s  and I am 100% ready to devote everything to my boys,” she says.

“I feel I appreciate my kids more everyday because I have struggled to become a mom.”

And the downside to being older: “Although I am more tired than ever before, I go to that place of emptiness when I lost my twins to remember how much I wanted this—it gives me more energy.”

But one of her key messages is about adoption which she feels is not a substitute for biological birth—it is simply another path to motherhood.

“Motherhood is possible at any age and adoption can make that happen,” she says.

“’Adoption’ is just a word—when you hold a child in your arms, no matter how they came to be your child, it is then you understand.”

According to Sharon Simons, the real truth about adoption is far from the cliché that most people have been led to believe:

“Many will say that when you adopt, you save a child.”

“The truth is that the child will save you.”

Notes for this blog:

Angel La Liberte is the founder of the website Flower Power Mom—The Truth About Motherhood After 40 (http://www NULL.achildafter40 NULL.com/) (www.flowerpowermom.com (http://www NULL.achildafter40 NULL.com/)), a regular blog featuring news, commentary, real mom stories and expert advice about motherhood after 40.

Sharon Simons’ website Mom At Last: http://www.momatlast.com (http://www NULL.momatlast NULL.com/)

37 Responses to Why Adoption Isn’t A Consolation Prize

  1. Glenda Cates (http://www NULL.MommiesPointofView NULL.blogspot NULL.com) says:

    WOW is all I can say and Congrats on the boys. I lost my daughter when she was killed at 16 and I felt my life was over. Only when one door closes another opens and now I am too a late in life new mom as my son is 3 and I am 46.

  2. Hope Desroches (http://sellitevents NULL.com) says:

    I hate the thought of anyone considering a mother who adopts some how less of a mother. They are given a much harder path to motherhood that all other mothers should have absolute respect for. This is a beautiful story that had me in tears but leaves me inspired. I gave birth to my babies, but I know they were meant for me and I would have found them even if their perfect little souls were on the other side of the world, just as this mother found her babies.

  3. Hope Desroches (http://sellitevents NULL.com) says:

    And btw my mom is an over 40 mama and she rocks! Now, in her late 50’s, she puts up with my teenage sister and is always there for me and my kids.

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  5. Shirley Karlsson (http://flowerpowermom) says:

    What a beautiful and inspiring story with such
    a happy ending,

    Brings tears to my eyes,

    Will inspire other women not to give up hope.

  6. Renee Enea says:

    I got to say that i have been friends with sharon for 25 plus years and reading the story and living it a totally different. We became friends at my first job following college. We had alot of very happy and good times. We always stayed close(bbf) but i entered a marriage and had 2 beautiful boys(at the age of 34). Sharon kissed a lot of frogs but finally found a King and 2 beautiful princes. I know is was a long and hard journey but at the end there was a miricle. I hope that her story will inspire all who think that mircles aren’t real……Please keep the faith, Sharon did……I love you guys so much….Renee

  7. Susan Halfman says:

    Sharon is a good friend and an inspiration. I witness the love she has for these boys on many occasions. There could not be a stronger bond between them.

  8. Diana says:

    I always think in adoption like one the most beautiful option that a women can have, because her babies are not born from her body.. they born from her soul and they are so happy and lovely. I am 26 years old and she is a inspiration for be a excellent human, women, wife and a real mother.

  9. joe Evan says:

    i have known my aunt sharon for all my life, and loved her forever. the day i heard we were going to have cousins, i was so excited, and couldnt wait to meet the little ones. i didnt know what to expect because i wasnt sure what they were going to look and be like because we werent blood related. but i never felt closer to any of my cousins like my ones in Maryland. I miss the family and cant wait to see them over the summer. love you forever

  10. Alice says:

    Sharon… Your poignant words give joy and hope to All mothers … Age does not stop a mothers yearning heart! I understand a bit of the numerous different and difficult roads that we mothers take to fulfill our life-long dream of becoming a Mother. I suffered 6 miscarriages in 8 years .. Underwent endless fertility treatments @ Columbia Presbertian Hospital Fertility Clinic,and the heartbreak of miscarriage in the 4th month of each pregnancy!! the Dr’s could not find an answer to this medical heartbreak – and after 6th … I was told to stop all treatment – That I would never carry a baby – I decided to adopt .. Determined to hold a baby in my arms and heart !! Eleven months later my beautiful son came into my life.. and a year and a half later -I gave birth to my second son … God finially gave me 2 miricles .. 2 blessings to enrich my life – my 2 sons.. The loves of my life!

  11. Carol Gallant says:

    I have known Sharon many years and every time I hear her story it gives me hope in life in general. She has endured and overcome such tragedy . Her willingness to share her story and help others only attests to what her friends have always known about her.

    I know many woman with similar experiences will benefit and find support, understanding, and a wealth of information in Sharon and her website .

    She has created a beautiful family,and a wonderful life for her family, and I don’t think she even realizes yet ,the ever reaching potential her story will have on those it touches.

  12. Kathy Zalewski says:

    I enjoyed this article so very much. It is a wonderful reminder to never give up on your dream! I do believe Mrs Simons “Angles” were with her on the entire journey!!!! What a beautiful family!
    KZ

  13. Kathy Zalewski says:

    I enjoyed this article so very much. It is a wonderful reminmder to never give up on your dream!
    I do believe Mrs Simons “angels” Were with her every step of the way!.
    KZ

  14. Pat Hall says:

    Sharon is a beautiful person, inside and out. She was kind enough to befriend me after I had moved to Delaware and has always been full of encouragement and support. She and her husband have built a strong foundation with which to raise their beautiful boys and together, they are all very blessed. I enjoyed reading this article very much and, in particular, have enjoyed Sharon’s own web site…www.momatlast.com.

  15. Molly says:

    Sharon is such a beautiful and inspiring woman! I am always so encouraged when I see people fight for things they want and succeed. Not to mention that balancing motherhood and work is always something to be completely impressed by! The boys are precious and are so blessed to have parents like Sharon and Rick.

  16. Jeannie says:

    Sharon you are so inspiring to all woman. i am so happy for you & your husband. Your children are beautiful.
    What a wonderful thing to help other woman !! I enjoyed reading this website…Dreams do come true !!

  17. Shanna (http://www NULL.mommiesandbeyond NULL.com) says:

    Hello. I am so pleased to have discovered your blog and this wonderful post. You have two beautiful children. What dolls. I adopted two children and they have really been a wonderful addition to our family. Our situation was very different but also rewarding. I adopted my sisters 6 year old and then her nweborn. It has not been an easy journey due to the situation but I sure love my babies and would love another!
    Thank-you for this post!

  18. Nancy McIntire says:

    I had my daughter at 44. She as opened my eyes to today’s world, as I will open her eyes to the past. It doesn’t matter how you get there, the journey is filled with a love that is beyond imagination. Congratulations on your beautiful family!

  19. Jennifer says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, you are a true inspiration to women that they should never give up in their desire to have children…anything is possible. You just have to believe!

  20. lauren Ann says:

    I was blessed to have three beautiful healthy children of my own. This is something I thank God for every day! I learned at a very young age , that having children isnt possible for everybody. My mother had lost many pregnancies and was very fortunate to be able to adopt. Three years later, to her surprise she was able to conceive and had a baby girl (Me). Adoption has given me the gift of an amazing older brother . Sharon, you are an inspiration to all.

  21. Melissa @ FullCircle (http://www NULL.ourfullcircle NULL.com) says:

    What a wonderful article!!!! So nice to “Meet” you all!

    ~41 yr old Fost/Adopt Mom & Adoptee :)

  22. shari reimer says:

    What a beautiful story and the hope you give to so many women out there. Rene has always told me how terrific you are, how beautiful your children are and how life really has blessed you.

    Truly amazing and your kids are beautiful just like you!

  23. Annette says:

    What a truly inspirational story!
    Thank you, Sharon, for sharing your beautiful family with us!

  24. Lisa says:

    What an inspiring story, gives hope to so many!

  25. Dee Thompson (http://deescribbler NULL.typepad NULL.com/my_weblog/) says:

    Excellent and inspiring story. Mine is sort of similar – I found my daughter in Siberia! I had given up hope of finding Mr. Right when I turned 40, then I went to Russia with a choir and we went to an orphanage and I met my daughter. Now I am 48 and have two beautiful children [19 and 14]. I am sorry I missed the baby years but these are 100% my children and I am very blessed.

  26. Liz Schuckman says:

    I think it’s a wonderful idea when people adopt children. There is so much sharing of love. It’s a win win situation and the boys are absolutely beautiful.
    Health and Happiness to you and your family…

  27. Geralyn says:

    A very positive article on the option of adopting. I agree with the article that adoption is just a word. A mother is someone who nutures, cares for you and loves you no matter what. When you look at the picture of those beautiful boys you see what a wonderful avenue adoption can be.

  28. linda simoes says:

    What an inspiring story. I myself am going to be 40 soon and lost all hope of having my own child. I see from your story that there is hope for women over 40 to love a child as if it were there own. Great article.

  29. Lucille Hunter says:

    What a inspirational story. Having experienced
    the loss of a grandson due to a live birth miscarriage
    I understand first hand what a mother goes through. Sharon has been blessed with two beautiful sons and will continue to be blessed for rescuing these
    two boys from an orphanage. Thank you Sharon
    for sharing your story.

  30. melissa f says:

    I think adoption is the greatest thing , and anyone that is willing to give a child a loveing home, deserves the chance.

  31. Fiffy L. Eliades says:

    I am amazed by women like you. I raised two daughters, my youngest with a rare syndrome, Prader Willi. My life has been very challenging in my 40’s and now early 50’s. Samantha is 21 and she lives in a very special school in Cape Cod, Latham Centers. My life at first was turned upside down but once I came to terms with it it truly became a gift from God. She humbled me and my family and she taught us what was really important. Life changes as we age and we all need to appreciate our children no matter how we received them and who they grow to be. Thanks for sharing…hope you enjoyed my story.

  32. Maria Lehman says:

    Sharon is a friend and neighbor. She is an inspiration to mothers of any age! And yes her words are very true… Those boys are lucky to have Sharon & Rick and they are equally as lucky to have Hunter & Dylan.I am so happy to know their story.

  33. Trish says:

    I hope this story reminds all mothers that each child is a gift, and motherhood should not be taken for granted. Please help spread Sharon’s message, by sharing it with your friends and family.

  34. Why Adoption Isn’t A Consolation Prize | Mom At Last (http://www NULL.momatlast NULL.com/moms/moms-over-40/why-adoption-isnt-a-consolation-prize/) says:

    […] options of adoption, IVF, surrogacy, Sharon Simons…. You can read the complete coverage at: http://flowerpowermom.com/adoption-after-40/ Tweet […]

  35. Mary (http://4gaby NULL.com) says:

    This touched me right down to my core. We went through infertility and lost our child only to realize there was another path. At 37 I became a mom for the first time and at 48 (unplanned and happily wanted) for the second time. Adoption fulfilled our dreams and while our children are aware they are adopted, they know that we are family.
    Being a mother exceeded my expectations, it fills my cup and my children keep me going no matter how old I might feel on a given day.

  36. rita says:

    I felt the same way. I was married at 40. Tried IVF several times, was pregnant and miscarried 2 times. Prior to being engaged, my husband and I talked about adoption, and we were both open to it, either as a means of having our family or to supplement. In the end adoption brought us to our 3 beautiful, funny & loving children (now ages 5,6,7). We too, adopted from Russia. From start (initial meeting with our agency) to end (home at last) it took 15 months. We came home in September 2009. We had a 2 month delay due to judges in Russia taking 1-2 month vacations in July & August. Adoption was the right choice for us. It’s funny how sometimes you just know your path and other times, you are led there. Our path (almost 2 years now) has been a wonderful journey to love. Yes, it’s had some bumps in the road, but mostly a wonderful experience for all of us! We love our children more and more each day, and are loving being able to watch them grow and develop. Motherhood has no age limit, either it is in you or it’s not. Does anybody ever really stop loving?

  37. Tracey says:

    This is a beautiful story and an inspiring one. I lost my first baby in April and my second baby in August both to a miscarriage. We are currently in the process to adoption from Russia. I just can’t wait til its over with and i can get my referral and bring my children home.

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