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AChildAfter40 in Sun Media Story

Last week, Canada’s largest national paper, Sun Media, featured an interview with AChildAfter40.com and the launch of our national support and social groups for the rising number of women having children after 40.

At first glance, a title like “Over 40 and want a baby? Think again” (http://www NULL.torontosun NULL.com/2013/06/21/older-women-having-babies-face-social-stigma), might sound like another helping of media bias against “older” moms. However, the story is really about exposing social stigma and double standards (men vs. women) when it comes to parental age.

 

The bumpy road of late motherhood

“While adoring fans embrace celebrity bumps”, writes Jo Richard about over-40 mom celebrities like Halle Berry, Mira Sorvino and Kelly Preston, “late motherhood can be a bumpy road for the average older mom”.

Richard airs the issues of how we can be “socially marginalized” because we don’t fit into mainstream cliques. She sheds light on the “glaring double standard” of how men like Elton John or Larry King are given a big slap on the back for fathering children well after the age of 60, despite that fact that aging sperm is loaded with genetic risks.

It’s refreshing to hear that no one likes to be mistaken for “the grandma” at the playground because it’s too easy for others to fall back on simple stereotypes rather than ask first.

 

Internalized perception of being too old?

(http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=atScMih4_d0&feature=youtu NULL.be)However, Dr. Wendy Walsh—who was also interviewed for the piece, and had her youngest child at 42—says that most of her mom peers at the elementary school her children attend are in their late 40’s, and the rest of us may be suffering from an “internalized perception” that we are “too old”.

(Check out my last “debate” with Dr. Wendy on CNN (http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=atScMih4_d0&feature=youtu NULL.be).)

What elementary school is she talking about? (If it’s in LA, then clearly, the same social paradigms do not always apply the rest of the nation.)

Having lived in 3 countries, I’ve yet to discover a location where most of the mothers of one school (meaning, en masse) got pregnant after 40, since statistically, we are still a minority. Or why mothers over 40 (en masse) might be suffering from internalized perceptions that they are too old.

Can anyone here solve the mystery? Anyone?

It’s because—à la Buddy, the Cake Boss—the perception (en masse) is coming from the outside, baby! That’s why we need to form groups. “Get it?” as my 7-year-old daughter would say, every time she shares an insider’s joke.

 

Notes for this blog:

Read: “Over 40 and want a baby? Think again”, (http://www NULL.torontosun NULL.com/2013/06/21/older-women-having-babies-face-social-stigma) by Joanne Richard. http://www.torontosun.com/2013/06/21/older-women-having-babies-face-social-stigma (http://www NULL.torontosun NULL.com/2013/06/21/older-women-having-babies-face-social-stigma)

 

 

 

 

4 Responses to AChildAfter40 Social Groups Featured In Sun Media Story

  1. Lynn says:

    I must say that I have no idea how old the other mommies and daddies are at the daycare and swimming lessons. Maybe I just pretend they are all over 50 like me! Although the one daddie with the bald head, pot belly and hairy back has to be over 60 ;-).
    Happy Birthday to my son who is 3 years old today and his grandfather who turns 85.

  2. Angel La Liberte (http://www NULL.achildafter40 NULL.com) says:

    Hi Lynn, I guess its not like we can go around with a questionnaire on how old they were when they had children. Usually, starting up a conversation gives you a pretty good idea of what era they are coming from. And bonding with others usually has something to do with having something in common, and not every mom is comfortable with our grey hair and 1960’s memorabilia! 😀 Congrats to grandad and your little boy! My children’s grandad just turned 83.

  3. kate says:

    I am 45 and pregnant! I am beyond scared of the risks!` I am scared of what my older children will say. (24,20,+ 15) I feel so alone!

    • Angel La Liberte (http://www NULL.achildafter40 NULL.com) says:

      Hi Kate, sorry you feel alone! :( I was 44 with my second and I did feel a lot of judgment regarding my age from peers, etc. However, most of the mothers I’ve met with older children find that they wish to become helpers and supporters. Have you shared the news with your grownup children yet?

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