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Lorne Holden, Mom After 50

By Lorne Holden, “Make It Happen In Ten Minutes A Day”

On my 50th birthday, I was lying on a chaise under a palm tree in Puerto Rico, with a gorgeous breeze blowing across  the ocean, and all the time in the world.

Perfect, right?

It might have been except for the fact that I spent the day trying to dodge a big, lead weight in my heart. I was 50, single and still wanted a child.

 

I Wasn’t Longing For What Was Lost

Then, it hit me. I wasn’t longing for a limb that I had lost forever in a car accident. I was just wanted something that I had always wanted. A baby.

So, on that day, I closed my eyes and decided to jump. It was the best and boldest birthday present I have ever given or received.

Less than 2 years later, and after many months of research and effort, I adopted a baby boy from Guatemala and became a single, over-50 mom.

 

 The Stark Reality of Being On My Own

The Atomic Bomb of Love that hit my heart was like nothing I had ever experienced before. And just as big was the stark reality that I was raising my son entirely on my own.

I had no partner, no family nearby, and my parents were not in a position to help me either practically or financially.

I loved my son utterly and gave our new life together my all, but I also found my circumstances brutally confining.

I just had NO time.

 

One Flower A Day At A Time

Then one day, after longing to put a garden in my front yard, I bought a six-pack of summer flowers. When we returned home, I planted a single flower. Just one.

Each day, planting a new flower, I eventually created a garden that knocked me out with its beauty. I never spent more than ten minutes a day on it, because it was all I had available.

I could do anything as long as I did it in small increments of time every day.

 

 5 Steps To Making Things Happen

If you’re an over-40 mom who’s exhausted with little time on your hands, here’s a 7-Day Method To Make Things Happen in your life:

  1. Make a Create and Conquer List: quickly, and simply write down a few dreams, as well as a few obligations you’d like to go after.
  2. Pick one dream/task and commit to spending Ten Minutes a Day on it, for 7 days.
  3. At the end of the seven days, take stock of what you have accomplished. You will be amazed!
  4. Plan ahead with your Make it Happen goals and steps to achieving them.
  5. Fold this new pattern of habit into other aspects of your life, so that you can experience the gentle, gigantic power of incremental change.

 

Notes For This Blog:

 

Lorne Holden is the author of “MAKE IT HAPPEN in Ten Minutes a Day: The Simple, Revolutionary Method for Getting Things Done.”  http://www.makeithappenintenminutesaday.com (http://www NULL.makeithappenintenminutesaday NULL.com).

She is also an award-winning artist based in New England. She writes, teaches and offers teleseminars about the quiet, gigantic power of incremental change.

2 Responses to 5 Steps To Coping With Single Motherhood After 50

  1. Christina says:

    I love this! Congratulations on your son. I adopted at age 48 and again at 52 – I do have a husband but no extended family to help who live nearby so it is just myself and my husband 24/7 caring for these girls. It is a challenge sometimes to say the least! You have given me some great ideas to take back some “me” time just for myself.

  2. Angel La Liberte (http://www NULL.achildafter40 NULL.com) says:

    I agree, Christina! It’s really a good sign that Lorne felt she could speak up about being tired and just overwhelmed. Too many people are critical of older mothers–they dare not complain for fear of someone saying to them: “Well, you made your own bed, now you have to lie in it…”.
    The fact is, mothers of any age become exhausted. It’s just that the ones under 40 receive more empathy. I think this blog is a sign that we’re becoming more confident about being able to speak out about the challenges!

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